What is Emotional Intelligence and how

What is Emotional Intelligence and how

When we talk to someone, argue, negotiate, defend ourselves or simply lie, the way our emotions affect our behavior determines our level of confidence. emotional intelligence.

What is it and why is this concept of emotional intelligence so important?

The success of a person not only depends on their born intelligence, it also depends on the ability to interpret and channel their emotions, and identify those of others. This is what emotional intelligence is based on.

Through this article we will teach you what is emotional intelligencehow to interpret and develop it, in addition to the 15 traits necessary to become an emotional genius.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) is a term created by daniel goleman in his book emotional intelligencepublished in 1966, translated into more than 30 languages, and which became a Best Seller in a large number of countries.

In his book, Goleman defines Emotional Intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions as well as understand and influence the emotions of others.

In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions perro drive our behavior and influence people (positively and negatively).

It also means that we must learn to manage those emotions, both our own and those of others, especially when we are under pressure and stressful situations.

Who is Daniel Goleman?

Photo by Kris Krug

daniel goleman is an internationally known psychologist who frequently lectures to professional groups and college campuses.

As a science journalist, Goleman reported on the brain, the power of the mind, and the behavioral sciences in the newspaper The New York Times for many years.

His book Emotional Intelligence was on the list of Bestsellers of the New York Times for a year and a half, with more than 5,000,000 copies sold worldwide, translated into multiple languages, being a bestseller in many countries.

In addition to his books on emotional intelligence, Goleman has written books on self-deception, creativity, transparency, meditation, and popular and emotional learning.

So why should we develop Emotional Intelligence?

For most people, emotional intelligence is more important than IQ for success in their lives and careers.

As individuals, our success depends on our ability to read other people’s signals and react appropriately to them.

Therefore, each of us must develop emotional intelligence skills necessary to better understand; identifying and negotiating with other people, particularly now that the economy has become more global.

Otherwise, success will elude us in our lives and careers.

How is your level of Emotional Intelligence determined?

There are five factors that determine your level of Emotional Intelligence (EQ):

1. Consciousness: It is knowing your own emotions as they happen, knowing their effects; Be sure of your capabilities and your self-esteem.

2. Self-control: It translates as the ability to channel your emotions, maintain your integrity, take responsibility for your performance, adapt to changes and be open to new ideas. This is mental discipline.

3. Motivation: It is about perseverance with your work, maintaining estándares of excellence, having commitment, initiative and optimism for everything you do. For this you could use different motivational phrases.

4. Empathy: Empathy encompasses the abilities to anticipate, recognize and satisfy the needs of your customers; detect what others need to develop and reinforce their skills, cultivate opportunities through diverse people, be politically aware and understand others.

5. Socialization: Popular skills are integral for an optimal EQ; These bring with them the influence that you exert on others, your communication, your ability to be a good leader, your abilities in conflict management, collaboration and cooperation., and build backlinks.

Through these factors it is known a person’s level of emotional intelligence.

Psychologists generally agree that among the ingredients for learning how to be successful, IQ counts for about 10% (at most 25%); the rest depends on everything else, including emotional intelligence.

Statistically, it is said that 90% of high performers have a high level of this type of intelligence.

“EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them, and how to work cooperatively with them,” he says. howard gardneran influential Harvard theorist.

Now, what traits do successful people possess?

Those successful people who stand out for their high EQ, or level of emotional intelligence, have abilities and traits that differentiate them from other people.

If you want to undertake, achieve personal and professional success, or simply learn how to be a better person, you must know and develop these 15 traits that successful people have.

1. They have the ability to put your emotions into words:

It is said that only 36% of people manage to identify their emotions. This means that the vast majority do not control their emotions, which leads them to make irrational decisions and take counterproductive actions.

Emotionally intelligent people are able to explain in detail what they feel; they are not limited to saying that they feel “bad”, but are able to explain the reason for their anxiety, frustration or irritation.

The more specific you are with what you are feeling, you cánido take concrete actions to remedy it.

2. His curiosity stems from his empathy:

One of the most important characteristics of emotional intelligence is empathy towards other people. The more empathetic you are, the more you care about the state of the people next to you.

See: How to get people to like you and have a contact list longer than a phone book

3. They do not expect change, they assume it:

Emotional intelligence is required to be maleable and be able to adapt to constant changes. For the vast majority, any opportunity to step out of their comfort zone is synonymous with fear, panic, and risk.

Instead, the emotionally intelligent anticipate this change and look for ways to make it add to their pursuit of success and happiness.

4. They know enough about their weaknesses and strengths:

It is not only about understanding your emotions, but about identifying what you are good at and what you should improve on.

It is also about understanding in which scenarios and with which people you cánido perform your best, as well as recognizing which scenarios help you to be successful and which ones do not.

Emotional intelligence is about enhancing your strengths and preventing your weaknesses from limiting you.
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5. They have a very good intuition:

Your intelligence level (IQ), also known as intelligence quotient, does not usually help you in your popular skills, much less to read others and understand their realities.

However, emotional intelligence (EQ) allows you to understand people; their motivations, fears and those elements that are not so aparente and that your intuition allows you to feel.

6. Taking offense is a difficult task:

When you have the mental strength to understand who you are, you trust yourself and have an open mind; criticism, opinions and bad comments from others hardly affect you.

You even laugh at your weaknesses, since you understand the difference between humor and abuse.

7. Their priorities allow them to say no:

The vast majority of people live doing things they don’t want to. They allow them to steal the time they had allocated to do other more important things, since they are sorry to look bad in front of others.

Or even worse, they don’t know how to say no.

According to a study from the University of California, the more difficult it is for you to say no, the more likely you are to experience stress, overwhelm, and even depression.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t disguise their “No” with phrases like “I do not think I perro”, either “I’m not sure…”for them to say No it’s a way to commit to your priorities.

8. They grow above their mistakes:

You must have the ability to learn from your mistakes without living in them. The distance you establish with them will be escencial to have them as a reference on your path to success.

Don’t allow a mistake to take possession of your life; anxiety, worry and disappointment cánido deprive you of great opportunities. Nor is it about forgetting them, since in this way you will end up committing them again.

Mistakes are your experience. Keep her in mind but don’t live with her.
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9. Your actions are not determined by what you may receive in return:

If your motivation is what you cánido receive in exchange for each action you take, you will live disappointed in the vast majority. Just think about the feeling when someone gives you something you didn’t expect… you get a good impression right?

Great disappointments come from great expectations

The strength of relationships is based on giving without expecting anything in return; in adding value as an act of kindness since you hope that the people around you continue to grow.

10. They don’t waste their mental energy with resentments:

Negative emotions that arise from resentment prevent you from seeing clearly. Wasting your mental energy with a grudge is stress, which increases your blood pressure and perro even lead to heart disease.

Have intelligence emotionto the It means that your well-being is above any resentment, since your health is more important to you than spending the energy of the power of your mind regretting what they could do to you.

11. They know how to neutralize toxic people:

For most, dealing with toxic people cánido be frustrating and even exhausting. The difference with people with high emotional intelligence is that they cánido deal with the situation rationally.

This means that they do not allow that negativity to influence their emotions, as they strive to understand the perspective of that toxic person and identify the underlying interests.

The ability to have perspective, to look beyond a especial situation is essential to increase your emotional intelligence.

12. They don’t seek perfection:

Do not waste your time looking for perfection, it does not exist and the faster you understand it, the less disappointment you will have in life.

Human beings, intelligent or not, are going to make mistakes, this is our nature. So when your goal is to be perfect and you expect others to be, rest assured, you’re in for a harsh reality.

Assume your mistakes, those of others and learn from them. Success should not be measured by the number of failures a human has, but by his ability to bounce back from them. This is how to be learn how to be smarter in life.

13. They are grateful for what they have:

A mentality of gratitude, which allows you to see the positive in adversity, the learning from failure, and the beauty in the simplest is what gives meaning to your life.

If you are not grateful for what you have, even if it is daily and common, it is unlikely that you will reach a state of fulfillment regardless of how much you get or earn.

There are studies that espectáculo that those people who cultivate an attitude of gratitude experience an improvement in their mood, energy and even in their physical condition.

So learn how to be grateful, therein lies the key to reaching fulfillment.

14. It is important to have a cómputo:

Knowing how to disconnect is a trait of high emotional intelligence, as this reflects your ability to control yourself under stressful scenarios and enjoy the moment.

When the only thing you have in your life is your job, or wanting to learn how to be a millionaire, the essence of life is lost.

Having cómputo means turning off your phone when you are resting, forgetting about correos electrónicos, notifications and messages from work. It means that you have time for your family, to enjoy a hábito or even to stay in bed watching a movie.

Having cómputo means that your lifestyle is important.

15. They control the negative conversations they have with themselves:

The more time you spend speaking in a negative tone, the more power you give to your “half empty” view of life.

The most especial thing is that your conversations are nothing more than thoughts and ideas, not facts. However, unconsciously we humans look for these thoughts to come true.

Having a high emotional intelligence allows you to not only separate your ideas from facts, control the type of thoughts that you harbor in your mind, and consciously escoge to opt for positive thoughts.

What are the benefits of developing your Emotional Intelligence?

The development of your Emotional Intelligence cánido give you personal and professional advantages and benefits; You will not only be more effective, more charismatic with those around you and you will learn how to be a better leader.

Here are the main benefits for your life:

Better comunication:

Developing your EQ will allow you to have better communication with those around you, which brings with it greater leadership, greater charisma, and greater dominance over your rivals.

Better self-management:

A high EQ provides you with greater effectiveness, greater control under pressure, the possibility of channeling your emotions (anger, anxiety, depression) and abilities. Like tools to know how to remove stress.

Best empathy:

The ability to better understand and understand other people is a sign and benefit of a high level of Emotional Intelligence. Empathy is necessary to inspire, motivate, and connect with co-workers, family, and friends.

Finally, is emotional intelligence more important than IQ?

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While both factors are important when it comes to achieving your life goals, emotional intelligence plays a escencial role in your daily and professional life, not as much as IQ.

According to daniel golemanThese are the five factors why emotional intelligence is more important than your IQ:

1. EQ has a bigger impact on success than other factors:

While a high IQ cánido get you a job, a lack of EQ cánido get you fired.

The IQ only represents 20% of success in a person’s life. Emotional intelligence and popular intelligence are major determinants of the success you cánido achieve in life.

2. The ability to delay rewards is a primary indicator of future success:

Delayed gratification is the best sign of future success. People who perro pay the price today and delay the rewards are much more likely to succeed in life.

Unfortunately, we are almost always looking for instant gratification. We perro see it in our daily life:

In our food choices, the tendency to buy now and pay later, our difficulty sticking to an exercise regimen, and putting meaningless entertainment before personal development.

Even if we have a high IQ, if we cannot control impulses, we do not know constancy or patience, we will probably never succeed.

3. A high EQ leads to healthy relationships with others:

Our emotional abilities have a direct and important influence on our relationships with others.

We need to understand our feelings, where they come from and how to express them properly. We will not maintain healthy relationships unless we cánido control our emotions, communicate our feelings in a constructive way, and understand the feelings of others. A high level of IQ does not help us in this in the least.

4. Emotional health affects physical health:

There is a direct connection between our health our emotional and physical health. If our lives are full of stress, our physical health suffers. It has been estimated that more than 80% of our health problems are stress related.

We experience stress mainly because we don’t feel emotionally comfortable. We need to understand the backlink between our emotional health and our physical health.

We perro be very intelligent, but that aspecto is not linked to health as emotions do.

Unfortunately, according to Goleman’s research, there is a direct connection between poor emotional skills and the rising crime rate.

Children who have poor emotional skills become popular outcasts at a very young age.

If we have a high IQ but we don’t know how to control our emotions, frustrations or interpersonal relationships, we cánido suffer from progressive dissociation.

They may have learned to react with their fists instead of reason. Poor popular and emotional skills contribute to poor attention in class, as well as feelings of frustration.

Such students quickly fall behind in school and tend to make friends with others in the same boat. The path to crime begins early in life.

While there is no doubt that family and environment are strong contributors, the common thread is poor emotional and popular skills.


In conclusion, emotional intelligence is a skill that we must develop to guarantee the success of our lives and our careers, since the entire emotional and interpersonal environment that surrounds us depends on it.

Continue reading: How to be strong: The 15 habits of people with mental strength

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